The Pieces of My Puzzle

People are diverse. Lives are complex. Interests diverge and intertwine as people gain wisdom and experience. This shows up in peoples’ lives through how they educate themselves, where they live, and what career(s) they pursue over a lifetime. Personally, my convergence of all of these areas can be defined as a through line (theme) in my life, or goal, that stems from helping people discover who they are and how they operate in the world. My catchy way to say this is helping people become more comfortable in the skin they’re in. I do not think I am unique in having a wide range of interests in my life. The key to success when a person embodies a span of interests and knowledge is to be able to link the interests in such a way that value can be mined. In this article, we will explore the disciplines of performing, bodywork, psychology, and teaching. Then, we will examine how the areas combine to form a fulfilling and sustainable career. Lastly, I will suggest how a person might discover the connections to manifest a diverse and personally driven livelihood.

Acting on stage has been dear to me as far back as I can remember. The kindergarten hula dance when I was on stage front and center began my fascination with performing, and it grew from there. The draw was not attention – though that certainly did not hurt my attraction to acting. Rather, what drew me (what I can now articulate) was the ability to make others feel something. Whether my performance would make people laugh, cry gasp, or cheer, I found that people would engage with me in performance; and they were changed by me. Change is powerful.

Over the years, I also found I had a talent to act because everyone told me so. Listen to people. If two people share a positive observation of your talent, they are being kind. If hundreds tell you over time and your heart soars with excitement at the knowledge you have talent, pursue that road. This quickening of the heartbeat is the body’s way of telling you that you are revealing a deeper truth about yourself. Following your bliss, as Joseph Campbell would say, will make you happy. Listen to yourself.

Theatre artists require years of training to develop the skills necessary to project the voice; adapt to any character physically and emotionally; learn behaviors and mannerisms of historical periods; and understand and execute with any success methods of actor training. What’s more, to become a great actor, one needs to expand imagination and focus. Actors spend time with scripts across the ages to historically understand the great playwrights who told stories that withstood the test of time. Reading, traveling, and trying new things are all helpful tools for the actor to expand understanding of culture and how people live differently with unique choices and hierarchies in society. Actors are taught to identify impulses informed by sensations that lead to action and understanding of self and wants/needs. In art, we examine relationships and the destructive mechanisms human conditions can supply to supplant happiness.

Hamartia, the Greek word for ‘fatal flaw’, is one element Aristotle names as necessary for a tragedy to occur and it is found in the hero of the play. Another vital element is hubris, which is defined by MerriamWebster as ‘a foolish amount of pride’; it always leads to the downfall of the hero. These ideas have stuck with me through life because art imitates life. Regardless, the most important element of actor training that seems to impact my life in all spaces at all times is the skill actors work on to be ‘in the moment’. Being present is necessary for all sorts of authentic and meaningful interactions. This vital skill helped me discover how to fully make contact with others through touch in a healing capacity. Most notably, this skill is what brought me to bodywork and Rolfing® Structural Integration (SI).

Bodywork is not simply a healing art form that my clients are able to enjoy. The act of being in the moment with my clients gives my very active brain the space to slow down and let whatever other things might be happening in my life fade into the background. The therapeutic relationship I practice with my clients is one that focuses on their experience now and how we can make this existence more vibrant and easeful. Just thinking about an intention, like helping others exist more vibrantly, calms me as I work because I have a focus and purpose for what I’m doing that can only be measured by the client’s experience. I tend to mirror and reflect energetically and verbally what I witness to add clarity to the moment-to-moment work. How a person exists in this moment is also revealed in how the body physically presents. The body is the map for our journey through wellness; anatomy is the key.

Anatomy is endlessly fascinating to me. Exactly where muscles exist is always unique to the person. Which muscles will be particularly outstanding to me? Will this person’s psoas be short or connect to a place other than anatomy books suggest? How does this person’s point of view on the world impact how she lives in her body? As I work, I often have so many more questions than I have answers. Bodyworkers are always ready for a mystery, because bodies always present interesting bits of  information that intrigue. Yet, at the core of all of this work is the simple fact that when I was growing up, my mom loved for me to rub her back. She loved it when I would soothe her aches and pains, and I loved helping her feel better. My work is infused with the simple truth that I really love to make people feel good. This led me to the idea that if I can make people feel physically well, and if I could perhaps help people understand what motivates their behavior, I could help transform their lives. Here enters the field of psychology.

Much overlap occurs between addressing the mind and dealing with the body: so much of the therapeutic work Rolfers do has psychological underpinnings. The difficulty in what we do as Rolfers lives in the fact that many people are not psychologically healthy and ready to change even if their bodies are presenting with pain suggesting change is necessary. This is where other skills can converge to aid in helping others. Yet psychology is not a pursuit for the feint of heart. Considering the multitude of ways people can suffer in life and family, the lists and lists of conditions that stymie people’s interactions in the world, the task of helping others in this field can be daunting.

Fundamentally, I do not believe that people can change unless a variety of personal and physical resources are available. These resources are monetary, but also the cognitive, empathetic, and neurological are primary. In truth, becoming a ‘talk therapist’ was never appealing to me. Rather, research is a way I can use my knowledge of psychology and study people to explore avenues for people to change.

Cultivating awareness is a large part of psychology, and also of teaching – another of my endeavors. Where psychology examines how people exist in the world, teaching helps people discover who they wish to be in the world. Teaching is an effort of love. I’ve been a student the majority of my life, and I have always found that the most inspiring teachers share their deep appreciation and value of the material. I have a deep love for acting, and sharing this love through teaching brings me great joy – hence, my joy is twofold. I am able to share a skill I love and guide the student within the realm we explore, which is actor training. An additional element to great teaching is the ability to arouse the process from the student, shining light on the student’s potentials and joys, rather than having the student mimic my process or become a replica of me. This is where high-school learning, which is primarily regurgitation of facts (a valuable endeavor), differs from college learning, which ideally integrates ideas to produce ownership of critical thought.

The final area of teaching I find present in university – and in Rolfing sessions – has to do with seeing the student or client as they are and as who they have the potential to become. In a romantic relationship, it is a bad idea to fall in love with potential, because, as we have noted earlier concerning psychology, people do not often change. However, as a teacher and as a Rolfer, I am invested in the idea that you have the ability to change and that you are with me precisely because you wish to change. The change can be in the form of knowledge, ways of being, ways of moving, and/or ways of understanding how you exist in the world.

One Person’s Trajectory

The ways in which I have pursued my career include formal education and experiential work (doing): earning undergraduate and graduate degrees in theatre; earning a PhD in clinical psychology with a somatic concentration; being a massage therapist for eighteen years; becoming and practicing as a Rolfer. All prepared me for my current role as the Head of Movement for Actor Training at Northern Illinois University (NIU). The research I do looks at how performing arts impact emotional intelligence.

What does all of this mean? To me, it means that I love working with people to discover what they’re good at and what they want to be good at. My journey along my path was slowed at times because others did not always see the path, even if I spelled it out for them. Worse, when I lived in certain areas of the United States, bodywork as a profession was akin to admitting I was a prostitute. (Alas, that is a whole other article.) I bring this up because I want to acknowledge the fact that some people are thrown off their paths because of cultural stigmas that have nothing to do with reality.

We are bodyworkers. When I was studying theatre as an undergraduate at Millikin University, I took a stage-combat class. My instructor, Robin McFarquhar, had a terrific knowledge of kinesiology and anatomy and I was rapt. In a fortunate conversation with him, he suggested I investigate Rolfing SI. Although I did not seek the work out immediately, I did experience the Ten Series at the age of twenty-three, and this forever changed my understanding of aging and pain in the body. My dance minor in college had made me think pain was an inevitable part of life that would worsen as I aged. Chronic foot pain from dancing and neck pain from a car accident seemed to be my lot for life until Rolfing SI intervened. After the Ten Series, I no longer had pain in my big toe and my neck pain had decreased. My story is not unique. At the time, I was a massage therapist, so my attention went to considering becoming a Rolfer in conjunction with an acting career.

But my life shifted again when I worked on a production of W;t at Tennessee Repertory Theatre (TRT), where the Artistic Director at the time was David Grapes, who was close friends with the head of Florida State University (FSU) / Asolo Conservatory. Better yet, one of my cast mates in W;t was Barbara Redmond, who at that time was Head of Acting at FSU / Asolo Conservatory. Although FSU/Asolo was in the top ten for MFA acting programs, I had never heard of it. I was applying to Yale, Harvard, University of Delaware, and Rutgers. Professor Redmond was not interested in conversation with me, so I considered her ‘antisocial’ and gave her plenty of space. I assumed I would not like to be in her program, yet added FSU/Asolo to my list of places to audition based on the advice of people I respected, and on the fact that Redmond is a tremendously gifted actress. I auditioned for all of the programs I was considering, gaining insight into the types of people I would be working with as students and as teachers. Astoundingly, FSU/ Asolo was the only place I recall hearing laughter. The people who auditioned me were kind and perceptive and inspired me as we worked. Jim Wise, who was the firstyear acting teacher, took the time to have a conversation with me. We are both from Chicago and we hit it off. He made me laugh many times, and I saw that in this program I would be able to work hard but not take myself too seriously.

I was not invited to the FSU/Asolo program but was put on the wait list. I’m not put off that easily, so I moved to Florida ready to begin my training the following year. I was not going to take ‘no’ for an answer. I didn’t even make the wait list the following year, but I did get into an original musical with American Stage based on Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost. All of the FSU/Asolo faculty came because there was an alumnus in the show, and one night I had a note in my trailer asking me to phone Brant Pope, the head of the conservatory. It could only mean one thing – I was going to be asked to join the incoming class.

During the program, my persistence led to my becoming one of the first interns for Margaret Eginton, the Head of Movement Training. Thus began my dissection of how to teach others to work on awareness in a practical way, as well as how to support students in their personal evolution through physical expression.

Graduating with my MFA, I needed to be able to make a living, and I needed a break from acting. Rolfing SI seemed the next logical step. I took it. Then it was back and forth. After becaming a Rolfer, I was an assistant professor of theatre in Ohio. I loved my students and colleagues, but the man I loved lived in Los Angeles, so I quit academia and developed a thriving Rolfing practice there. But I missed full-time university teaching, so sought out adjunct positions at Pasadena City College and Azusa Pacific University.

Education helps me discover ideas and ways of approaching material. I decided a PhD would be fun and help me reach my goal of regaining a full-time teaching position. I spent five years earning my PhD in clinical psychology with a somatic concentration, again weaving the threads of my interests. My dissertation is titled, “The Relationship between Emotional Intelligence and Sanford Meisner Actor Training.”

As the pieces come together, I am now an interdisciplinary academic with the ability to produce research – not a skill many actors have. I recently found my academic home at NIU where I serve as the Head of Movement for Actor Training. NIU is a research university, so I also have the support to conduct research and expand contributions to the fields of acting and psychology – a delight and honor. At the same time, I work with graduates and undergraduates to grow their physical and psychological connection with their whole person. We play, we imagine, we extend mind and body, we sweat, we laugh, we cry, and we evolve. This work is the stuff for which I am meant to be on this earth and makes my heart happy – which is how I know that I am living right for me.

How Does Your Puzzle Come Together?

The way to guide yourself towards a successful convergence of the pieces of your own life’s puzzle is to continually ask yourself the questions:

• Does this make me happy?
• Should I be doing something else?
• How does my body feel when I’m doing this work?
• What other type of person do I need around to make this better?

When you have answers to these questions, you may not be able to make a change immediately; but you can map out a plan to address what you need over time.

I’ve also learned that I have to pick one thing at a time to work on until I have the courage and ability to chuck what I’m doing and boldly change my life – which for me has included quitting a job or moving across country. Not everyone has the ability to do that or would want to, so you have to determine your bottom lines and what you’re willing to negotiate for what you need. This process is what works for me: continually assessing my life, thereby fostering a personally driven and satisfying life.

Compromise is often necessary, but acting from self-knowledge you will discover a path that can join the many skills you have with the career you create. Not everyone will understand or appreciate the work you put into your life to manifest your goals, but you will know you are living the life you crave. If or when the hunger subsides, transfer those skills to a new hunger that is waiting for you in your heart. To paraphrase, go boldly in the direction of your dreams!

Heather L. Corwin earned her PhD in clinical psychology with a somatic concentration from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles; her MFA in theatre from Florida State University / Asolo Conservatory; and her BFA in theatre from Millikin University. She has practiced Rolfing SI since 2005 and practiced massage for eighteen years. Currently, Dr. Corwin is the Head of Movement for Actor Training at Northern Illinois University. She is married to Douglas Clayton and has a daughter, Cassandra, who is in kindergarten. Dr. Corwin’s research focuses on performing arts training and how that impacts the skills of emotional intelligence. Find our more at www.BodybyHeather.com.

Melding Interdisciplinary Fields[:]