He was a psychologist. He was extremely tense in time jaw that was hidden with a beard that gave him the look of a guru. His back was extended behind h15 pelvis yet he used words to create images of having feelings. His arches were high and he spoke in abstractions. He was a proud man, with that peculiar pride, not of achievement, not of the pride of being successful and we all thy, but of the pride of representing an educational and system of psychological insight and thought, that actually had little to do with what he really was.

His words were so smooth, yet complicated, that they seemed to brush completely a side, the stagnation in his life that had brought him to Rolfing.

“I have been in my own therapy for many years, and although I understand myself intellectually, it does not seem to penetrate very deeply. I look at the sunset but cannot feel it, I cannot touch the leaf nor feel the joy of the dancing shadows on the ground. I have no feelings at all in fact. I nave read a great deal, I can recite poetry, but the beauty beyond the word escapes me. I am becoming harder, not only with my wife and children but with my clients and everyone around me. I wonder why I no longer feel strongly about the evils of the word. I seem to see everything. Intellectually and can reason with anybody but why is there this gap between the intellect and the heart? Why have I lost love and the feeling of genuine pity and concern?”

He had many, questions and doubts about Rolfing but finally conceded that he would give it a try as the Rolfing process went to work with his body, he began to question his reliance on the cultivation of his memory to produce a change in himself. I asked him to let go of his stream of thoughts and images connected to his past and to his past and to move into the stream of feelings and sensations being invoked in the present moment of his Rolfing. When he got up off my table, I asked him to sense and feel himself move in a way that he felt and sensed from his feet on the ground, rather than construct a way out of any new images of correct posture that might occur to h15 mind. Where he was used to what seemed like the absolute necessity and importance of words to bring about a change in himself, I asked him to breath into and simply be aware of textures, shapes, movements and sounds, of parts of his body that he had been thwarted from, and was unconscious of, in various ways.

Still, in him, remained the strong tendency to want to go to his head. He still struggled with the great pleasure he derived from his intellectual capabilities. His jaw had softened yet his concern for himself still fluctuated from being real to merely verbal concern. His shoulder girdle came over his heart, and his heart aligned with his pelvis, yet his momentum of verbal manipulations and cunning argument fought to interject themselves between him, his wife and his children.

As the Rolfing series came to closure, he reported that not only had his body a new sense of lightness, flexibility, and peace, but that from this perspective of more centered feelings, feeling its way in softening arches that melted into the ground beneath him, he had begun to see the destructiveness of the intellect that he had so fervently worshipped. He said he had realized that in all of his many years of work and effort to bring the mind and heart together he was still stuck in the illusory process of mind dominating the heart.

We talked of the surrendering process to love. That love is not put together by thought or acts of emotional expression. We shared and felt the truth that love is at the beginning and not at the end.

He left in peace that there is nothing he could. He had learned to surrender and keep ego out of process. He joyed to listen and see the beauty of face and flower.